Holidays can Intensify Stress for Military Families

The holiday season can bring with it countless feelings ranging from excitement, wonder and awe, to sadness, disappointment and anxiety. Military families’ anxiety regarding separation or loss can be intensified during the holidays, and uncertainty about the length of deployment and danger of the mission can add to the stress of separation.

Unreasonable expectations for the holiday season can lead to disappointment. Television and movies frequently package the holidays as joyous family events free from budgetary concerns. Nostalgic memories can also set a standard that is hard to meet. Oftentimes, military families have one or more family members deployed during the holidays, and they have a hard time celebrating family traditions.

Here are some suggestions to help reduce holiday stress:

Set realistic expectations. It is easy to focus on how things "used to be." Sit down with your family and discuss what is important to each member now. Identify new traditions your family would like to start.

As a family, create a calendar with specific goals. When the family participates, all members share accountability. Plan to celebrate the accomplishment of major goals as a family. For instance, have a family movie night once all presents have been purchased.

Establish a realistic budget.  Overspending can result in year-round stress, and the material aspects of the holidays can be overwhelming. Many times a homemade gift can be more meaningful. Coupons for services throughout the year can provide friends and family with happiness that outlasts the holiday season.

Buy gifts from catalogs or from the Internet. This can be an amazing time saver, and many companies offer gift wrapping and mailing services directly to the recipient. It’s also a great way to avoid crowded malls and long post office lines, allowing you to spend more time doing the things you enjoy.

Take care of yourself. To effectively take care of others, you must take care of yourself. Eat healthful meals at regular times. Get enough sleep and exercise. Even on the busiest days, schedule time for yourself. Don’t overindulge with alcohol, which is a depressant. Although you may feel good temporarily, the long-term effects of alcohol can be negative. Think about the activities in which you can participate and choose only those that will be enjoyable. Think quality, not quantity.

Emphasize family ties. Children may want to make a photo or video journal that can be shared with the deployed parent upon his or her return, or sent while he or she is still deployed. Spend extra time with your children to assure them of your love. Maintain established routines, including family dinners and bedtimes.

Reach out to others. Share activities and help other military families in your area who may also be spending the holiday seasons alone. Identify a lonely friend or a friend in need and invite him or her to dinner. Participate in community activities that will bring you into contact with other people.

Life is full of changes – some good, some bad – and it can sometimes be difficult to adjust. Focus on what is important and positive in your life right now.