Identifying Grief

Grief is a healthy, normal reaction to the loss of something important. Although people typically associate grief with the loss of a loved one, people can also experience grief in response to symbolic or social loss, such as the ending of a relationship or job loss.

Grief is not a disorder, but like other health issues that affect well-being, stress for example, some people may have trouble coping. There is no right or wrong way to experience grief. Moving through a period of loss and bereavement is often cyclical. You may feel like you've moved forward, and then suddenly and unexpectedly you are swamped by feelings of sadness and loss. When experiencing grief, it may not be just for the person who died, but also for all the unfulfilled wishes and plans. Additionally, previous losses or separations can resurface and complicate the grieving experience. Grief becomes complicated when it is masked by significant physical or behavioral symptoms, or when it goes on too long. If a person suspects that they are depressed, using substances inappropriately, or unable to sleep, it may be time to consider seeking professional help. Grieving individuals may experience:

Other facts about grief:

• Some people have intense reactions to loss, while others do not.
• Some people are able to quickly recover from loss, while others recover more slowly.
• There is no evidence to support the belief that some people experience severe, delayed reactions following a loss
• The relative absence of distress following the death of a loved one is very common and these individuals are not maladjusted.
• Between 10 and 20% of people in bereavement (the period following a loss) suffer from intense distress that can last for years after the loss.

Source: [Bonanno, G. A., & Kaltman, S. (2001). The varieties of grief experience. Clinical Psychology Review, 21, 705-734]

Grief is Not a Mental Disorder

While symptoms of grief overlap with symptoms of depression, grief is not classified as a mental disorder. Individuals should not be diagnosed with a major depressive episode if symptoms occur within two months of a loss. It is important to let a health care provider know if you have experienced a substantial loss over the past several months.

Distinguishing Normal vs. Abnormal Grieving

Because reactions to grief vary, it is difficult to distinguish normal from abnormal grieving. Bereaved individuals typically struggle with moderate levels of symptoms, and while they may have difficulty managing responsibilities, they do manage to struggle through daily life and gradually return to their normal level of functioning. When grief becomes chronic, the grieving individual may experience more intense symptoms and find their daily life functioning is severely impaired for at least a year after the loss.

Source: [Mancini, A. D., & Bonanno, G. A. (in press). In J. E. Fisher & W. O'Donohue (Eds). Practitioner's guide to evidence-based psychotherapy. New York: Kluwer Academic.].